Friday, December 18, 2009

Sir, what really does an emergency mean to you?

The night was fairly steady, calls from across the county and city were coming in. And then this guy calls in. Mind you he's probably in late 20's or early 30's, not an elderly caller that would think they are bothering us.

Me: 911 where is the emergency?
Caller: Well this probably isn't really an emergency.. but I just saw these three males break into a window of my neighbors house and climb inside.

Really, sir. Really?

What WOULD an emergency be for you, sir? Are you related to the person that called me a few months ago because your puppy was choking on a bone that YOU gave it and YOU yelled at me "Oh, I guess my kids will just have to watch their dog choke to death" because I wouldn't send and ambulance and instead gave you two locations of emergency vets in the area? You're lucky I gave you the vets locations, I could have just disconnected, you are a waste of the emergency response system!

You can't fix stupid.

Sunday, October 4, 2009


"OH MY GOD!" Screams the hysterical caller as she comes upon the heap of twisted metal that was two cars just moments before.
"There, theres blood everywhere in the car and and oh my God and I think it's his brains!"

Everyone in the car that was hit survived with non-life threatening injuries. As for the driver of the offending vehicle, the 'brains and blood' that the caller actually saw was the spray paint the driver was huffing before he slammed into the innocent driver going the other direction.

Friday, August 7, 2009


Me: 911 where is the emergency?
Caller: Oh nevermind. It's okay now.
Me: Ma'am what is it that you needed?
Caller: Well I was going to need an ambulance, I thought grandma was dead... but she woke up! It's okay everything is fine!...

Well then.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Just one of those days

So, For some odd reason today has been a 'stupid people' day.

The highlight had to have been my 911 call I took from a juvenile with a bit of an accent, sounded about 13 or so.
Went something like this:

Me: 911 where is the emergency?
Caller: Yes, Send me a vegetarian.
Me: I'm sorry a what?
Caller: A vegetarian.
Me: I'm sorry I can't understand you, what is it you need?
Caller: For my dog, I need a vegenarian its sick.
Me: HUH? For your dog? [pause] Ooooh you need a veterinarian! Sorry but 911 is for human emergencies, try calling 411 or check the phonebook for an emergency animal hospital!

Yeah, The vegetarian. Totally caught me off guard!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Doing The Impossible.

So, How many people thought that a dispatcher could NEVER get hurt 'in the line of duty'?

Well.. I was one of those people.. Until the other night.

I successfully flipped out of my chair.

We have nice 24 hour task chairs that are really good, they come in two sized, small seat and large seat. I was in a small one, and it was really high up, and I went to recline back. The wheels must have been in perfect alignment as I started to feel the wheels rolling out from under me. As the chair started to rotate I grabbed onto the corner of my desk throwing my weight onto that had, which ultimately pulled something in my shoulder (no biggie, I've been hurt worse!) which ached for the rest of the night.

I startled everyone in the room though, those things are loud when the slam onto the floor! haha. It made for a good laugh and that will probably stick with me for a while.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Touch of Death

I seem to be the scapegoat now when something goes wrong in the communications center, or even out on the streets..

I seem to have been able to break a few things no one else could manage to break before. So every time something goes wrong with a piece of equipment it's "I bet Ramblings touched it last". But it is only because I have managed to snap in half one of our desk lights (Which are made to twist, turn, flip, swivel and do everything) just by pushing it back out of the way of the monitors..! I have managed to break the computer system for our center and our backup center by trying to type in an address, which caused a 2 day outage until they could fix it (yay for pen/paper, old school).. And most recently I have started a fire.
Yep. A fire. Apparently I must answer the phone too much, because all of a sudden I get this big whiff of burning dead fish (yea best I can describe it) and I ask my partner if she smells it, which brings her around to my console which immediately she gags uncontrollably, uh oh.
I notice that my ALI (Automatic Location Identifier) screen is gone, and I go to the back and sniff around and find that the source of the smell must be the ALI screen burning out.
For good safety measures we call our nearest fire company over to check it out and make sure the thing wasn't still burning.
But the worse part of the whole thing is that smell, and it stayed in that room for ever, and it's not like we could prop the back door open because some crazy repo guy would probably wander his way through it or we would get a dog or cat to venture in to get that dead fish! ha.

I also happen to answer the phone whenever something big, or crazy happens. Whenever we have something crazy I probably am stamped as the call taker on my shift, Every time I had answered the phone during one afternoon it would be a fire or ambulance call for my county fire partner which was sicker than could be and picked that because usually it was the slowest (ha) but I have had some crazy stuff happen where people have come up 10-7 (dead) such as the trucker who decided it would be a good idea to chase his moving truck that rolled off as he was hitching a trailer, jump into the window only to wedge his cab in between two parked trailers at the end of the lot, ultimately crushing him. And I took the caller who believed he was still breathing and we sent the local pd and fd hoping we would have a rescue and not a fatal, The first officer gets on scene and advises us it's a 10-7 that the victim was very purple.
Wow, Maybe in the shock of finding the crash my caller didn't notice the guys color, but maybe it was his human instinct to believe he was still alive and have a hope that he could be saved. Who knows. But, it was one of those crazy calls that I happened to take.

I guess when I got work I shouldn't touch anything or answer anything. At least that's what my co workers think!

Saturday, March 7, 2009

The Downpour

Recently we had our first big rains here since the winter. Which means for the storm sewer system it's a big flush to get all the junk sitting in there out.
Bad news, when it pours a couple inches in a few hours the storm drains are going to back up, flood every freakin street in the city and cause havoc for traffic, and there are a few knuckleheads who try to drive through said flooded streets and eventually get stuck.

But, after dealing with the numerous calls from people getting stuck in water/traffic this takes the cake.

I hear my partner across the room, on a 911 cellular line, state "No, ma'am there isn't a water main break anywhere.... it's raining... No, no there is no boil order...."

Some nincompoop was stupid enough to think that there had been a water main break and that was the cause for the multiple flooded streets throughout the city. Yes, yes ma'am there was a water main break, we have them on their way out right this second to go and fix it but in the mean time can you do us a huge favor and go stand outside and make sure no one drives through the street, we would hate for them to get stuck in the hole!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

How to tell if someone is crazy.

It's a cold night, about 3 am, not much activity going on anywhere in the county. It's recently snowed and that is keeping everyone inside.

A 911 line rings, I pick it up
Me: 911 where is your emergency?
Caller: xxxx yyyy out by the river (this is a rural county address)
Me: And what is going on out there sir?
Caller: Well there are two guys walking around my house with a gun!
Me: Okay, can you tell me where they are right now and can you give me a description of these guys?
Caller: They are behind my house, and they are both male Hispanics and its a nickle plated pistol they have.
Me: (Note, PD is already enroute, the county officers and also a closer village is sending units) Sir, can you tell me what kind of clothes they are wearing, you know what color shirt the guy with the gun has?
Caller: No, I couldn't tell. But he is wearing a sombrero.
Me: (Thinking, what the hell!) Okay... Well what about the other guy?
Caller: Oh, he just has a hat on.
Me: Oh... Well I have an officer pulling up where are these guys at now?
Caller: Over in the abandoned house next door, they were inside but are out on the porch now.
Me: Okay, Well I have an officer here he is having trouble finding the house you're in, do you see the officer out side?
Caller: No officers live out here that I know of.
Me: What?.. No do you see the officer outside!
Caller: Yeah there he is! (Disconnected)

I am thinking to my self, what the hell, how can you tell they are Hispanics, and the finish of the gun, but cannot see what color clothes they have on, yet you know the guy has a sombrero.

The officers clear it, they checked didn't find any foot prints in the snow and talk to the guy and find nothing.

The next night they are back out there, he called nicor out and nicor called us, the guy was freaking out to the nicor people saying that there are spirits in his window, that he saw an angel with a halo in the window. Officers get out there and search around the house to make sure it's secure while talking to the guy. One officer finds a loaded shotgun in the back bedroom laying on the bed and diabetic perscriptions that have not been filled in over a year.
There's your problem right there. Mr Crazy is got some issues. He got a trip to the hospital.

Hopefully we don't hear from him any time soon. Althought it gave us all a chuckle in the communications center!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

I Hate Needles.

So. I regularly give blood, I feel that I can help by doing so, I am O+ and that type is the universal so I know it will help someone who needs it.

But, I hate needles. I donated blood recently, and the lady 'found' my vein before she stuck me.. Well it 'disappeared' and that made her have to wiggle around, she couldn't get it so another nurse came over and tried and was able to get it. OUCH.

Not too good, but I think it's not that bad it could be a lot worse.. and it got a little worse.. You know how you have to 'squeeze', well I was and the needle was twisting something in there because oh man it was hurting..

So I donate in about 6 minutes the bag is filled, I get up and take about 15 steps and sit down at the snack table and start to feel like I am going to pass out, man was that crazy, I got all cold pale and sweaty, so off I went to a table to lay with my feet up and an ice pack for 10 minutes.

I never had that many complications, or any of them at that, when I have donated and I have been doing it regularly (every eligible donation period!)

But I still hate needles.. Ah!

Friday, January 9, 2009

Shift Change

Our rotations are up and I am now working the night shift. This is bad for me, for I LOVE to be doing stuff, and working this shift has been quite slow for the last few shifts. I do imagine as soon as it gets warmer and as soon as the schools let out this summer it will be busy, but right now I am going crazy! So I have accomplished setting a new poker high score on the computers, bwahaha! 8 hours of playing poker and I got paid.

Although, we have had a blast listening to old calls saved on the consoles, those have been interesting needless to say. So far nothing major has happened on our shift this year, just a few drunks that are being stupid calling us up because they were kicked out of a bar and their coat was still inside.

So, I bought myself a Nikon D40 a few months ago. I haven't gone out and wandered around taking pictures of things though. Although I did go to Chicago to see the Chicago Marathon.. I do need to go out and take some pictures of things though, I got a neat little flash for it too.

Back to work, my biggest complaint with the midnight shift is the food.. We have NO WHERE to eat that is close but Wendys.. Dang!

So, I am debating on what I should do. I am wanting to get into a police department, and I really don't mind if it is with a City or County as I find both interesting but see the County with more 'to do' outside of patrol. Now, Thing is I believe our County still has an axillary program which I would love to get into, and do while I am still working dispatch and applying for agencies (or even use that to get into the department). Or I can wait and throw out applications as they start hiring. I still have a few more classes I need to take to get my associates in Law Enforcement that I have been putting off for a year now, and they are the basic general-education classes (maths and sciences) which I find so easy but boring, I hate school! I need to get those out of the way though and at least have an associates degree in something, especially since many departments are requiring education and a certain amount of college credits now-a-days.

Ahh I don't know! Anyone with any suggestions feel free to throw them my way.