This was some time ago when I first started. I get a call from an elderly female and this is how it went:
Me: 911 Where is the emergency!
Caller: Yes yes I woke up and came in the living room and there is a squirrel on my table eating my donut! I don't know how it could have got in here!
Really?! What the hell.
Of course, it's the departments policy to send an officer to all 911 calls as weird or stupid as they could be, so patrol went on over to investigate the donut bandit and sure enough there was a half eaten donut sitting on her coffee table. Unfortunately the bandit got away and hid elsewhere in her house.
The officer called in and let us know that the doors and windows were all shut but there were many holes in the walls and the donut loving squirrel snuck in that way.
Gotta love this job!
Sue the Dead Assailant
11 hours ago